no tile

wat am i doing now??
haha...sitting somewhere around the lake..
heaaring the little nature in my skull...
trying to relaaese everything...
somehow when i look towards the lake..
I hav a damn stupid idea pass through my mind..
wat if i drop down into the lake...
drop down without struggle...
juz let myself drown...
let the lake water blench my mind till its clean..
when mt mind clean,
whether I'm still alive or not..
if I'm alive,
should I struggle for life...
if I struggle for my life,
will life be beautiful..
I remembered I told my cutiest family in my uni tat life is bad but is also beautiful..
however,
I'm suspecting tis statement now...
haha...
useless mummy in group 2...
for wat I noe,
I stopped them from drinking coke..
but actually I din ask thier opinion even once..
how much they love coke,I noe...
cuz of over caring,
I banned it from them...
is tis fair??
seems like not...
I remembered telling the whole group tat whenever a group member sad or emo,
others will oso emo...
cuz others worry bout u..
and I oso want my group to be happy...
but wat I had said,
I'm the one who spoiled it first...
is kinda unfair for my groupmates..
I felt sorry for them...
actually,
I wanted to be happy today in front of u guys...
but I can't control my emotion...
I'm sorry...
I noe I'm useless...
useless in everything..
for now,
I feel like jumping into the lake...
haha
but I dun dare...
cuz I noe tis is the stupidiest idea to settle stuff...
my mind is blank...
but I'm still emotional...
I should be professional...
haha...
need to practise more...
sorry to my zai zai luii luii...
trust me...
after I settle things,
I'll be happy...
whenever the questions is still in my mind,
I'll never give up to solve it...
but it take times...
so if I'm being bad,
even mean to u guys...
I'm sorry..
juz leave me alone...
cuz I dun wanna lose u guys...
u guys r the precious present tat god had gave me...
I love u guys...
really love u guys...
muackzzz